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Do you think there's too much sex on TV?

Philadelphia Inquirer - Feb 22, 2001

In war on raunch, be the minority.  As the music and movie industries spew their offerings to the masses, a family needs rules. 
 

By Dina A. Leacock

I had an eye-opening experience during our holiday vacation. I discovered I wasn't as in control of the outside influences on my children as I thought I was. I knew that the language in music and movies today can be extremely raunchy, but I never realized how bad things were.

I used to laugh at Tipper Gore and her crusade to get music rated, but back then I was a lot more liberal and my sons may not even have been born yet.

Now my boys are listening to music with some of the worst language I've ever heard, and, believe me, I've been around bad language. I even enjoy a good expletive now and then myself, but not on the airwaves.

The problem is in movies as well. We rented National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation for our family movie night at home. You know the routine: Make huge bowls of popcorn and then sit as a family for a quality evening together. What could be better than to watch a Christmas comedy?

You can imagine my disappointment when the movie turned from tastelessly funny to just tasteless.

To my surprise, what I consider the ultimate bad word was uttered near the end of the movie. The movie must have been censored when we had seen it on network TV.

The thing that bothered me the most was that the word wasn't necessary at all. Sometimes bad language can be used for effect or shock value to make a point, but in this funny little family movie it was just crude and extreme. It added nothing to the movie but took away some of the enjoyment.

As my children get older, I'm finding it harder and harder to find movies we all can enjoy. We have certainly outgrown most of the G-rated cartoons, and PG isn't what it used to be.

Another eye opener came on Christmas Day when Santa left the family a CD burner, a toy we had all looked forward to getting. My sons spent an entire evening making personal music CDs from MP3s they had downloaded. 

I'd heard the music played on the computer and on the radio but never paid much attention to the words. OK, I'll admit it, the music is so noisy I couldn't really understand the words. So, as my parents did with me, I brushed off the kids' taste in music.

But one day we went for a ride and listened to one son's CD in the car. Oh, my, the bad words we heard. My son looked as surprised as we did. He said he had never really listened to the lyrics before, either.

In this case, it was the Green Day ditty, "Minority." It had a really catchy melody, but the words were always garbled and run together. I asked my kids what it was about, and both replied, "I don't know. I just like it."

Well, that's one CD we will have to throw out.

But how do I protect my children from the language out there today? How do I protect them from music full of hateful imagery? Do I have to listen to every song that is out there? Could I stand it?

We now have a new rule in our house. All music from the computer must be the censored version, which in some cases is not much better than the originals.

I can hope that we have taught our boys enough about right and wrong that they will censor themselves.

In the meantime, I can always depend on at least one major safeguard. I know my boys will "tell" on each other every time one of them attempts to get away with watching a forbidden movie or downloading an inappropriate song.
Dina A. Leacock, who works at an agency that serves senior citizens, writes from Medford.